No Pity Roses for This Girl!
Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of my wedding day. I remember writing out in my journal who my bridesmaids would be- all twelve of them (yes, I know that’s a LOT, but hey, I have a lot of friends). I would go through magazines and cut out (literally) the prettiest wedding dresses, rings and bridesmaids dresses and tack them to my bulletin board. With every guy that I even semi-dated, I would imagine him as my husband and me with his last name. I knew I would have at least four kids, and I knew all of their first and middle names. You may laugh, but how many of us girls have done that? Be honest.
I figured all of that would probably play out soon after college. That’s what happened with my parents at least. They were high school friends and college sweethearts. They married soon after college, struggled a bit financially while Dad was in law school, and then had me and my sisters back to back in their late 20’s. Now they’ve been married 52 years. Seems like the perfect scenario for me too, right?
Instead, my sisters (both younger than me) got married 4 months apart in the same year, and that was in 1997. Okay so what? Just because I’m older doesn’t mean I’m going to get married before them. No big deal. I could sit this out a few more years until my time came. Then we would still have kids close in age, live near each other, talk about parenting things and everything would still turn out like I hoped.
Well, now it’s 2019. Still no ring. Still no husband. Still no kids. My sisters both have kids who are now teenagers and back to back ages (15, 16, 17, 18 and 19 between the two of them), just like my cousins on my Mom’s side were with us growing up. They are super close, just like we were with our first cousins. One sister lives in St. Louis and the other in Richmond, VA, where we grew up, and where my parents still live. I even followed my sisters to Atlanta
after they got married and all moved down here, and now I’m still here and they aren’t. Go figure.
Before you think life has been roses for my sisters and parents, let me stop you. It hasn’t been. Life hasn’t necessarily turned out as they expected either. But that’s another blog post for another time.
You can easily read this and feel sorry for me. Please don’t. And for your guys out there, I don’t want your “pity rose” (all you Bachelorette fans, I know you feel me). I will take a date though!
While it’s easy to feel like God has looked me over some days, I know that’s not the case. He has blessed me with the best family, friends, a great job, a healthy body, a comfortable home and so much more! Most of all, He has given me his son Jesus, who is always with me, which means I’m never truly alone. And if I rush this time of waiting, I know I will miss God’s bigger purpose in this season.
So I wait, and pray, and hope with Jesus by my side, while he whispers to me “My child, we’re in this together.”